In search of a house wif

House Wif

Below is a recent text message conversation I had with I person I DO NOT KNOW.  I have no idea how this guy got my number, but he did.  This is the THIRD TIME some random guy has gotten my number and has decided to bust my balls.  But two can play at this game...

Friday:

Rando: i m someone who knows u and u eider know him.and hop to ve a realtion ship with u, if u do not mind.thinks

Me: You have a lot of nerve texting me like that and asking for sex. I dont know who the f*** you think you are but you better check yourself because I dont take disrespect kindly

Rando: lucia evryone is looking for sex .im not i hope to find in u mor then that:a house wif a friend.,.if you don t mind.can u?

Me: Who the f*** is this? Is this some kind of joke?

Saturday:

Rando: Sorry dear yesterday I was drinky

I know, I know.  Right now you are probably like "but Cia, this guy REALLY looks like a keeper!  You should at least try?", but if all he is looking for is a house wif I am not sure we would mesh well.  But, I will give the guy props for knowing how to spell friend correctly.

Oh, and if you want to know, this guy's number is (+212)606521349.  If you are bored (or a little drinky) you know what to do...

The Year of Being a Badass

the lamb testicles that I did not eat

The Year of Adventure has officially ended, and oh what a year it was.  I said no a little less and got involved in some pretty crazy adventures, the most memorable being the watermelon thieves.  Thinking of what my year of being 28 should be dedicated to took some time.  It was a difficult decision, but after long hours of wondering I have decided upon The Year of Being a Badass.  With the watermelon thieves in mind, I thought it was fitting.

How is the Year of Badass different from the Year of Adventure you may ask?  Well, The Year of Badass will be filled with just as many adventures as the Year of Adventure (if not more) but I will be able to exert a little more control.  Now, please stop laughing, I know the concept of control and Morocco and the Peace Corps seems contradictory, but little by little ok?

For example, the other night I was presented with a piece of meat from the lamb that was slaughtered during 3if Kbir.  Instead of just eating it and hoping for the best, with my improved badass language skills and increased confidence that I wouldn't offend anyone, I asked what it was.  After my host sister (who is probably 8) couldn't stop laughing and saying how is was shuma (shameful) I came to realize it was a testicle.  Sure, I thought, I would be pretty badass if I ate a testicle.  But it is also pretty badass to start drawing some lines in the sand in a situation where there are none.  And testicles are my line.  So is the penis.  So after turning bright red and laughing while awkwardly saying "no no no, no, no, um, no" the line was officially drawn and I made it clear, like the badass I am, I would not be eating testicles.

The Year of Badass is sure to bring some more great badassy blog posts, the first being how I said no to eating testicle, so I hope you all enjoy sharing my Year of Badass with me.  Booya.