(stolen watermelons)
After a series of relatively un-important events I was asked to go to Tangier. I traveled to Tangier the day before Ramadan and back to my site the first day of Ramadan. But Ramadan is not one of the those crazy party holidays, it lasts for 29 to 30 days where Muslims fast from dawn until sunset to celebrate the revelation of the Quran to the Prophet Mohammed. So yeah, not a crazy party holiday. So I was not concerned about traveling during Ramadan and figured the worst I would encounter during my travels to and from Tangier would be a busy train and slightly more grumpy people, because I get grumpy when I don't eat and I think that is pretty common for most people.
The trip started off great. I got one of those nice new cars with air-conditioning and a window seat. I was one of the only people in the car and I felt like I was in first class. This was until we pulled up to the Ksbah Kbir train stop.
The station was FILLED with rowdy boys, HUNDREDS of them, off to a beach day in Asilah. They started banging on the train as it went by and quickly stormed the train taking over my car with a strong smell of sweat and cigarettes. Having not grown up under a rock I knew this was no good and that this was going to f***ing suck, and it did, it did BIG TIME.
So I put my "bitch face" on and didn't let anyone sit next to me. The boys (averaging from age 10-30) started jumping on the seats, taking off their shirts, laying in the baggage compartments, smoking cigarettes, smoking weed, drinking, and being generally annoying pains in the ass. I finally relented and let someone sit next to me, but not after I gave them my "If you mess with me I will seriously f***ing kick your ass bitch face." The train ride continued as fights broke out, weed was smoked, and glue was sniffed. And then the train stopped...
As we were waiting for the train to continue after some a**hole pulled the emergency break, a few of the geniuses of the group decided to leave the train and start stealing watermelons from the field beside the tracks. This caused the Watermelon Man who owned the field to start throwing rocks at the thieves, who because they are geniuses decided to throw rocks back, which resulted in a two hour delay as the Gendarme and Police raided the train to find the morons who thought it would be a good idea to delay their beach day by stealing watermelons, WATERMELONS.
I could tell all this excitement was getting the idiots around me more excited and more bold. The New Jersian in me knew I had to act before shit hit the fan and I got caught in the middle. I couldn't leave my seat because the last girls who tried to leave the train car had some issues. So I had to think fast because I could tell they wanted to talk to try and get to know me. Having the uncanny ability to emasculate a man with the "you are a piece of s**t card" I decided to ask my seat mates in an extremely loud voice "Before Ramadan, do men always do such horrible things as drink, smoke weed, sniff glue, and STEAL?" Silence. So, I asked again "Before Ramadan, do men usually act this horrible?" Silence.
As the guilt started to slowly spread through the group of boys around me, the Gendarme and Police came into the train. It was easy to spot the thieves because they were the ones holding watermelons or pieces of watermelons. And then the tears started. The Gendarme and Police smacked the thieves they caught around a bit for being, you know, f***ing idiots not to mention bitches for crying. I mean honestly, grow a pair.
The train finally started to move again, and a few of the boys, probably in an attempt to prove to the foreigner they weren't completely horrible people, offered me some stolen watermelon. Me, being unable to let a piece of s**t get away with anything, said "God sees everything, Happy Ramadan" and I refused the watermelon. I have never punched someone in the gut, but I am pretty sure the faces that resulted from my comment look pretty close to the face someone would make if punched in the gut. They all got off at Asilah without even a goodbye, as you can tell, I was heartbroken.
Badass-Ometer:
Lucia: 2, Watermelon Thieves: -4
Please note that there is no Mardi Gras of Ramadan. So these boys were being a**holes, REAL BIG a**holes and should be ashamed of themselves. If their mother's ever found out what they did they would be begging for the Gendarme and Police to save them. Also, for all the train rides I have been on, I have NEVER seen anything like this, which is one of the reasons I am writing about it, I mean who steals watermelons? Finally, I was not at all hurt during this incident. except for my nose, which had to endure the smell of dirty boy, weed, cigarette smoke, and glue for about 3 hours. But at least I gained some Badass-Ometer points out of it.
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