Conspiracy Theories

It must be out of pure confusion or stupidity I get caught up in what I call "awkward conspiracy theory conversations."  While I have never before been in so many "awkward conspiracy theory conversations" as I have in had in this country, with a complete number of about 5, that doesn't mean that "awkward conspiracy theory conversations" are specific to Morocco.  Granted, I have had 5 more here then I have had anywhere else I have been, but crazies exist everywhere amiright?  I also think people are like "let's talk to this American chick about our conspiracies to see how she reacts to prove if they are true or false" sort of thing.


The funny thing about these conversations is I never know they are really happening until it is too late and I have somehow been indirectly accused of being a key player in the conspiracy.  I think this has to do with my language skills, and as the person is speaking I am wondering if I am in fact hearing things correctly or if I am just crazy and making them up?  But I find that I can easily get out of these "awkward conspiracy theory conversations" by talking about the weather, so that is kind of a relief, please see examples below:


Example 1


Me: Hey, I know you like space, did you hear they found a new planet in our solar system?
Acquaintance 1: Yeah, it is interesting.
Me: I wonder if we are going to visit it?
Acquaintance 1: Like America visited the moon?
Me: Yeah, sure, whey not?  But maybe in can be more collaborative this time and it can be with the Russians, and even some Moroccans!
Acquaintance 1: Have you ever seen pictures of the moonwalk?
Me: Yeah, you know in school and stuff.
Acquaintance 1: No, I mean the REAL pictures?
Me: (Wait, is he implying what I think he is implying?) Um?
Acquaintance 1: You know if you ever really look at the pictures, there are scientist that say, based on the pictures, they aren't real because the way the flag is, and that they weren't really taken on the moon.
Me: (Wait, I think he is trying to say what I think he is trying to say) Oh?
Acquaintance 1: There are some websites and videos on YouTube you know.
Me: (Yeah, like I believe all the shit I see on the internet and YouTube, you know I saw a cat fly in a YouTube video once, flew right across the room, pretty cute actually) Wow, it is hot today, this sun is just so hot!
Acquaintance 1: Yes, it is really hot today!


Example 2


Me: Yes, I have family who live in New York City.
Acquaintance 2: Were they in New York for 9/11?
Me: (I think I should be concerned about where this is going...) Um, yeah?
Acquaintance 2: You know 6,000 Jews didn't show up to work on the day of 9/11?
Me: (FML) Excuse me?
Acquaintance 2: 6,000 Jews didn't show up to work at the Twin Towers that day.
Me: (Is he trying to say what I think he is trying to say?) Um, you do know I am Jewish right?
Acquaintance 2: (awkward silence)  Well...  
Me: Have you ever been to a financial or law firm in New York City?  
Acquaintance 2: No.
Me: Have you ever been to New York City?
Acquaintance 2: No.
Me: Well if you had you would know that most likely on 9/11 8,000 people decided not to go to work that day, and 6,000 just happened to be Jewish, because, you know, it is New York.
Acquaintance 2: Yes, but you should look at some websites and YouTube videos.
Me: (WTF is up with believing everything you see on the internet? Maybe I should show him the flying cat video...)
Acquaintance 2: They just make some interesting points.
Me: Wait, you do know I am Jewish, right? Are you trying to imply I had something to do with 9/11?
Acquaintance 2: I mean...Israel.
Me: Maybe it is time I taught you the phrase "digging yourself into a hole"...
Acquaintance 2: Well, if you just...
Me: Wow, it is really hot today! This Moroccan sun is just so strong!
Acquaintance 2: Yes, I know, it is very hot and sunny today!
   
Example 3


Acquaintance 3: Have you ever heard of the Stone Masons?
Me: (oh, FML) Yes, I used to run by their headquarters in DC, really interesting building, I always wanted a tour, they give free tours you know?
Acquaintance 3: There are these websites and YouTube videos that talk about how they are trying to take over the world by placing their symbols everywhere.  
Me: (FML) Oh really? You don't say? And there are websites and YouTube videos to prove it?
Acquaintance 3: Like US money, have you ever seen the back of a US dollar bill?
Me: You do know I am American right?
Acquaintance 3: Yes, but have you ever REALY looked at the back of a US dollar bill?
Me: Um?
Acquaintance 3: It is a road map of how the Americans are going to take over the world.
Me: (I really wonder what is wrong with people sometimes) Wait, you do know I am American, right?  Are you trying to imply I am involved in a conspiracy to take over the world?
Acquaintance 3: Well, these videos...
Me: Damn it is SO hot today! I just can't believe it!
Acquaintance 3: I know right!


At least I can't complain about my life being dull...