Weddings in Morocco are INSANE. I danced until 4 in the morning, 4 IN THE MORNING! And there was NO liquor, yeah I know right? There was a tent set up in front of the bride's family's house and it was PACKED with invitees and I think people who just came off the street who happened to be wearing kaftans? The bride changed 5 times, first a green outfit, then a white and brown outfit, then an orange outfit, then a blue and silver outfit, and THEN a white outfit. Each outfit was more extravagant than the next with different tiaras, jewels, and weave to match. In the time she changed she even re-did her makeup to match the outfit! CRAZY! The wedding consisted of us eating, dancing, and watching the bride and groom be prodded by the bossy wedding planners and photographer to make sure they got the PERFECT photo, hopefully out of the million they took they will find one they like.
My very nice landlady (who calls herself my Moroccan mother) was nice enough to lend me a Kaftan, which is a long sleeved dress with a belt. See below:
And then this is what happens when an American goes to a wedding in Morocco dressed like a Moroccan:
1. Arrive.
Everyone stops and stares at you. They are all very confused, what is this American girl doing wearing a kaftan? Where is she from? Why is she trying to speak to me in Darija?
2. Answer the same questions over and over again.
Partygoer: Are you married?
Me: No (here we go again...)
Partygoer: How old are you?
Me: 27
Partygoer: WHAT! You know the bride is 17, and she is getting married, so why are you not married?
Me: (in English) Because I am an old hag
Partygoer: What? I don't understand?
Me: Never mind
3. Eat.
You will be served TWO dishes. A chicken dish and then a beef dish with prunes. Do not listen to the other women at the table to "eat eat eat" the first dish, because then you will not be able to eat the second dish, and then everyone will ask you if you are trying to lose weight so you can find a husband. And you will say "yes, that is exactly why I am not eating, because I am a fatty and need to find a husband".
4. Take an awkward picture with the bride and groom.
Remember, just like in America, the wedding is not for the bride and groom, it is for the guests. The bride and groom will spend the entire wedding sitting on a throne like couch while the wedding photographer and planners put them in different poses for pictures they can appreciate later. They don't get up, except to change outfits, they don't talk to other guests, and they don't dance until the very end. Oh, they also don't really smile. The wedding planners are SCARY and the bride and groom are too concerned about not pissing the planners off any more for not making the correct pose for the camera. One of the few interactions the bride and groom have with the guests is when you can go up to the bride (as everyone stares at you, because they all want to know what the American is going to do next), say thank you so much you look beautiful, and then take an picture awkwardly standing next to the bride and groom you have NEVER met before.
5. DANCE.
You are expected to dance. People want to see if the American, who can dress like a Moroccan, can dance like a Moroccan. So you dance, you dance your Moroccan slippers off. Follow what the kids are doing, they are CRAZY good dancers. Plus people will think you are such a good English teacher because look how good you are with the kids! Even if you are tired or feel like a complete fool, keep dancing. Because let me tell you, the next day when you see people on the street they will all comment on how AMAZING you are because you can dance. So dance monkey, dance.
My very nice landlady (who calls herself my Moroccan mother) was nice enough to lend me a Kaftan, which is a long sleeved dress with a belt. See below:
And then this is what happens when an American goes to a wedding in Morocco dressed like a Moroccan:
1. Arrive.
Everyone stops and stares at you. They are all very confused, what is this American girl doing wearing a kaftan? Where is she from? Why is she trying to speak to me in Darija?
2. Answer the same questions over and over again.
Partygoer: Are you married?
Me: No (here we go again...)
Partygoer: How old are you?
Me: 27
Partygoer: WHAT! You know the bride is 17, and she is getting married, so why are you not married?
Me: (in English) Because I am an old hag
Partygoer: What? I don't understand?
Me: Never mind
3. Eat.
You will be served TWO dishes. A chicken dish and then a beef dish with prunes. Do not listen to the other women at the table to "eat eat eat" the first dish, because then you will not be able to eat the second dish, and then everyone will ask you if you are trying to lose weight so you can find a husband. And you will say "yes, that is exactly why I am not eating, because I am a fatty and need to find a husband".
4. Take an awkward picture with the bride and groom.
Remember, just like in America, the wedding is not for the bride and groom, it is for the guests. The bride and groom will spend the entire wedding sitting on a throne like couch while the wedding photographer and planners put them in different poses for pictures they can appreciate later. They don't get up, except to change outfits, they don't talk to other guests, and they don't dance until the very end. Oh, they also don't really smile. The wedding planners are SCARY and the bride and groom are too concerned about not pissing the planners off any more for not making the correct pose for the camera. One of the few interactions the bride and groom have with the guests is when you can go up to the bride (as everyone stares at you, because they all want to know what the American is going to do next), say thank you so much you look beautiful, and then take an picture awkwardly standing next to the bride and groom you have NEVER met before.
5. DANCE.
You are expected to dance. People want to see if the American, who can dress like a Moroccan, can dance like a Moroccan. So you dance, you dance your Moroccan slippers off. Follow what the kids are doing, they are CRAZY good dancers. Plus people will think you are such a good English teacher because look how good you are with the kids! Even if you are tired or feel like a complete fool, keep dancing. Because let me tell you, the next day when you see people on the street they will all comment on how AMAZING you are because you can dance. So dance monkey, dance.
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